there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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