So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
