What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
