I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
