Fuck appropriateness.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
