Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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