Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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