And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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