I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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