I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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