so explain again why im purple
no
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
