i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
