I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
