Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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