i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
