Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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