I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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