I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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