Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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