People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
