how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
