I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
