Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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