remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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