it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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