Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize