I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
