I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
