You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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