Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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