Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
