you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
