if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
