turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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