Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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