Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
MIDGETS
????
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
