She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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