yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
