do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
