I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
