Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
