Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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