Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
