Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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