do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
