have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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