she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
third nipple confirmed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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