playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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