i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my shit smells like andre
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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