i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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